Just when I realized I deserve better, the reasons to smile have been tripled.
To my greatest heartbreaker…
As I write this, tears are flowing in my eyes and falling for the fourth time after we drifted apart. For how many times, I’ve told myself that I’m not supposed to be the one in this position, but this unexplainable sensation deep within my heart is screwing up…again. When will this nonsense flashback of memories will stop? If only it is possible that one could set an expiration date upon staying in love with the person who already told you straightforwardly that he is no longer in love with you and ditched you and messed up with you and left you with all those bittersweet memories and a pathetic pain that fades away, but eventually goes back and makes you feel damaged every time. Up until now, I can’t help but ask myself, “Where did I even go wrong?” Where exactly?
I’ve trusted you so much without knowing that in the very end, I’ll be the one who’s going to suffer. I loved you without any hesitations of what other people might say and even with what’s going to happen next. I loved you because I was happy with you. I loved you that’s why I got to surpass my fears and doubts to tell my family about us. I was so serious with what we had, but what did you do? I’m mad at you. Obviously. All the reasons why have been slapped all over my face.
But you know what? Here’s the catch.
All of the people around me tells me that you don’t anymore deserve anything from me. The love, the care, the pity, and the concern that I still have for you because everything was all your fault and you chose to ruin all of the things that mattered between the two of us. There were times that I want to approach you and ask you if you’re okay and stuff like that. I dread the fact that I still worry about you. After all, you afford to be lonely. To be all alone. You kept on pushing away people who once aimed to help you and care about you. But what’s with you? PRIDE? EGO? IMMATURITY? Do you think that will make you happy?
I hope, it is not too late for you when you finally realize these things. I remember those times when you kept on telling me that you want a change for yourself. Wasn’t that for the betterment? Then why are you getting worse? It’s just so sad that after all, you still don’t get your lesson.
I’m feeling sad for you. You’re adding more complications to your life when there are just simple solutions in line for you.
I still can’t give you my forgiveness at this moment. Perhaps, someday. It cannot be forced, can it be? I’m still deeply wounded. But I know, in God’s perfect time, this wound will fade away as if nothing happened.
I don’t have any idea if you are having regrets with everything that you did. Honestly, I’m really wishing you do. Well, you should be.
- Thank you for showing up the REAL you as early as our 3rd month.
- Thanks for setting me free. I’m living a much-much better life now. I’m in the prelude of pursuing my aspirations.
- Lastly, thank you for making me STRONGER and BRAVER than I once was.
PS.
I don’t know if that “3 month rule” makes sense or whatever, but just in case, we’re a few weeks closer from the 3rd month after we broke up and I would end this up stating that… “I TRULY LOVED THE PERSON WHOM I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE.”
"Hay. Malaking kawalan sa kanya yun. He doesn't know how to treasure a girl like you." -Friend
I have this one big question for the universe and that is, “Why am I ALWAYS the one who’s being left behind?” Sad truth, yes. And I don’t really have any definite idea how I went through it all. The very first heart break that my 1st love had caused, the expectations I had with my longest time crush and lastly, with my 1st boyfriend.
It may sound cliché, but truth is, nobody’s perfect. But I know in myself that I’ve done my best. I exerted a lot of efforts. I’ve tried so hard to balance my time and my priorities. All of that came naturally and simultaneously yet it was not still fit with the thought of the word “enough.”
Nowadays, I’m striving to become a much better version of myself. A few months have passed and many things have happened. Some things have remained, but most of it have placed a lot of changes. Tons of memories have been made despite the fact that our relationship only lasted for 3 months. From time to time, the built-in player in my mind automatically plays all of those though I have already accepted the fact that we aren’t really meant to last. I just really can’t believe he did all of those messing up with me.
I’m still in the process of healing. Of moving on. And in God’s time, I know, all of this pain deep down in my heart will subside and be healed.
Thank God for he had BLESSED me these sophisticated, gorgeous and true people/soul sisters/super friends. I couldn’t be happier when I’m with them.
I love you to infinity, bebes! Cheers for our 4 years of friendship! :”>
People do COME and GO. But some are just hanging around with a “BE RIGHT BACK” scenario.
Oh well, life. Why are you like that?
How To Stay Positive When a Relationship Ends
1. Quit Taking It Personally
So, the relationship didn’t work out. It doesn’t matter the reason.
The point is that it is now over and done with. You have to put down that 2×4 you’re beating yourself over the head with. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you that makes you unlovable. You are a perfectly imperfect human.
People do things because of what is going on inside of them. That old saying “it’s not you, it’s me” is actually true. Even if your actions contributed to the break-up in some way, it was your ex’s internal reaction to those events that led to the good-bye.
You are not a bad person, just not the right person for this relationship. There is somebody out there you are perfect for.
If you have to, tape Q-tips all over the house to remind yourself to quit taking it personally.
2. Act As If
Act as if your life is nothing but positive. Kind of like “faking it until you make it “.
When you are feeling down, maybe throwing yourself a little pity party, ask yourself what would you be doing right now if you weren’t feeling down in the dumps – and then do it.
If you used to relish girls night outs when you had a free evening - plan one. If you used to like to spend time alone painting – break out those paints.
Act as if you are happy, loved, fulfilled and soon you will be. Our reality is drawn by our thoughts. Both drawn as in drawing a picture and drawn as in being pulled in. You have that power.
